In Which It Takes 20 Years

Tonight, in acting class (and don't worry, this is not a story about my "process") I read through a scene with Nicholas Downs, a very talented actor. I'd been wanting to work with him for some time, but we just couldn't find the right scene. Tonight, we found it, a scene from "Coyote On A Fence" by Bruce Graham. We managed to get all the way through it without Janet giving us any notes, which is rare. Nor did we get the infamous "what is this scene about?" In other words, it went pretty well.

After it was done, a classmate asked if this was our first time reading that scene. When I responded in the affirmative, she then asked how we did it. The only response I had was "experience." Like many things in life, there are no shortcuts to being an actor.

Sanford Meisner once said that it takes 20 years to become an actor. As I approach 17 years, I wonder sometimes if it'll take twice that. True, I'm much better at it then I was that August night in 1993 when I stepped onstage as part of the ensemble of My Fair Lady and said my one line: "What d'ya take me for, a fool?" I find I'm much more emotionally available and open on stage than I used to be. I'm much more trusting of my instincts and my talent. I've even learned how to accept a compliment.

But, much like a muscle, it's still something that has to be worked on to get its full potential. When I'm lazy or not thinking I still find myself speaking too fast or letting my mind wander during the scene. I don't always do all the legwork I should and I still get nervous before going up. Monologues are still a weakness of mine, because, for some reason, I'm uncomfortable being alone on stage.

As a side note, the first time I did a monologue in front of Janet's Master Class, a room packed full of actors I assumed were much better than I, I used my old standby monologue from "Lakeboat" by David Mamet. I killed. Afterwards, my friend thought I had cheated by using something I'd been working on for about 8 years. I told him, "of course, I did. You think the first time I get up in front of all you guys I'm gonna work on something new?"

So, back on point, while it is very nice to hear a younger actor ask you how you did something, it also reminds you that you got where you are by just plowing through it. It takes as long as it takes and everyone has to find their own pathway there. Part of it involves discovering your strengths and your weaknesses and working on both. Part of it involves letting go of your ego, but at the same time finding your confidence. And part of it involves just plain old hard work and experience.